Irrational adj.
Without or deprived of normal mental clarity or sound judgment.
Optimism - n.
A disposition or tendency to look on the more favourable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favourable outcome.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Duda-duda-duda-duda-dudadudaduda-5-4-3-2-1-THANK FUCK, A BUBBLE!

Just randomly thinking about stuff on the drive down to Wigan today.
The thing occurred to me a few weeks ago, actually. Never really thought about it before but one of my worst fears is being unable to breathe. Drowning, suffocating or choking.
I can't stay underwater very long because I can't hold my breath for long at all. Even though I have a fairly good lung capacity, I just can't not breathe for that long, it scares me.
I get really nervous if I yawn when I have food in my mouth. Just in case I choke on it. I have real fears about swallowing my own tongue because I heard a story about it once when I was like, 10.
Anyway, once I realised this fear, it made me wonder if it stems from my CF. Obviously breathing gets harder as the disease progresses. And while I do my best not to think about what could happen in the future, I'm thinking this whole fear thing may well be something ingrained deep inside my head.

May or may not be related but the Sonic drowning music (Yes, that is what the title is meant to represent) scares the SHIT out of me. I had it set as my alarm tone for a long time because I literally can not stand to hear it finish. It makes my heart race.
Not sure if this is related the the fear itself or just something hammered into my subconscious from years of playing Megadrive Sonic constantly.

Thought of the day. Make of it as you will.

Sitting comfortably? Then let's begin...

Yes! I am blogging again.
This is my more personal blog, if you're looking for the STC-O editor/artist blog, you should be over at I will update it soon, I SWEAR.
This blog will mainly be used for whinging, rambling, general life stories and thought provoking insights into the world.

Or I'll just forget about it like I usually do with blogs.

Driving down to Wigan to Claire's Mam's once I'm off here, just finishing off my meatballs on toast. Classy guy.

Annoyed that my new digitiser/screen for my HTC Desire hasn't turned up yet. Using my old, broken 6230i, not fun when you've been used to an android =/. A lot easier to text (nothing to do with the broken buttons on the 6230i), Facebook, Twitter, e-mail and a decent version of MSN on it for mutiple ways to constantly annoy mah Tot.

Currently looking forward to: my 25th, Claire's 21st, Summer of Sonic, Totday, Totweek.

More soon.