Irrational adj.
Without or deprived of normal mental clarity or sound judgment.
Optimism - n.
A disposition or tendency to look on the more favourable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favourable outcome.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Duda-duda-duda-duda-dudadudaduda-5-4-3-2-1-THANK FUCK, A BUBBLE!

Just randomly thinking about stuff on the drive down to Wigan today.
The thing occurred to me a few weeks ago, actually. Never really thought about it before but one of my worst fears is being unable to breathe. Drowning, suffocating or choking.
I can't stay underwater very long because I can't hold my breath for long at all. Even though I have a fairly good lung capacity, I just can't not breathe for that long, it scares me.
I get really nervous if I yawn when I have food in my mouth. Just in case I choke on it. I have real fears about swallowing my own tongue because I heard a story about it once when I was like, 10.
Anyway, once I realised this fear, it made me wonder if it stems from my CF. Obviously breathing gets harder as the disease progresses. And while I do my best not to think about what could happen in the future, I'm thinking this whole fear thing may well be something ingrained deep inside my head.

May or may not be related but the Sonic drowning music (Yes, that is what the title is meant to represent) scares the SHIT out of me. I had it set as my alarm tone for a long time because I literally can not stand to hear it finish. It makes my heart race.
Not sure if this is related the the fear itself or just something hammered into my subconscious from years of playing Megadrive Sonic constantly.

Thought of the day. Make of it as you will.

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